The morning after...

Nathan seemed to bounce back quickly from the surgery. We obviously had zero experience in dealing with brain surgery and brain tumors, so we had no idea what to expect. One of my nephews has had several brain surgeries for hydrocephalus, but this was a completely different situation. Stephen and I didn't sleep at all that night. We attempted to share an uncomfortable couch, but we moved with every noise Nate made. It was a surreal feeling watching your 19 month lay there with tubing coming out of his head, slowly draining the fluid that was taking up most of his brain. This drain had to remain until the next step was taken because the tumor had gotten big enough to block where the cerebral spinal fluid was supposed to leave the brain. We both looked at each other several times throughout the night and commented at how calm Nate had become. This was the longest he remained still without crying in the 19 months he had been with us. It was hard to accept that he had been living with the worst headache imaginable for who knows how long. Knowing that he had been in an immeasurable amount of pain caused us much guilt. We should have known, but how?

Sleeping peacefully on April 13, 2013

 The staff in the PICU at Baystate was incredible. They continually asked if we needed anything and answered every question we had as honestly as they could. A Child Life specialist even stopped by late into the night bringing the exact same musical soother for the crib that we had at home. Sometimes, you just feel like you're in the right place. We knew we had that neurosurgeon to thank for saving Nathan's life that afternoon. If he didn't have the emergency surgery, who knows what would've happened. We don't even want to go there.

The morning arrived and we were anxious to find out the plan for the day. We were told overnight that we would head to Boston Children's Hospital, but we didn't know when. Doctors and nurses came in and out throughout the morning and we were told we had to wait for the ICU ambulance to arrive from Boston. Nathan and I would be transported from Springfield to Boston in that and Stephen and my Mom would follow in their own cars. My Mom ended up sleeping overnight in a home near Baystate and then came back over to our room in the morning.

Giggling with Grandma

In the meantime, our pediatrician called the hospital and I spoke with him for a short time. He was very concerned and supportive of all of us. Thank God for him and his nursing staff that also knew something just wasn't right. We have them to thank for saving Nathan's life too.

Around 11 am, we were told that the ambulance was on it's way and we were expected to leave Baystate around 1 pm. In the meantime, I decided to post something on Facebook. It's a tough spot to be in; I mean, you don't want people to worry, but you also want people who care to know what's going on. So, everyone that is in our immediate circle already knew so we decided to post something. The response was incredible and overwhelming. It was comforting to know that we weren't alone in this and that together, with everyone's love, support, and prayers, we were going to get through this: whatever it was.